The Funeral Exercise: What Do You Want People to Say About Your Life?

Imagine this for a moment.

Many years from now, you’re attending your own funeral. Friends, family and colleagues have gathered to remember your life and the impact you had.

During the service, four people stand up to speak about you.

• A family member

• A close friend

• A work colleague

• Someone whose life you helped

Each of them shares a few words about the kind of person you were and the life you lived.

Now pause for a moment and ask yourself:

What would you want them to say about you?

Take a minute and really think about it.

Why These Four People Matter

This simple exercise is powerful because each of these people represents a different area of your life.

A family member reflects how you showed up at home. Were you present? Supportive? Someone your family could rely on?

A close friend represents the personal relationships you built and the kind of person you were outside of responsibilities and roles.

A work colleague reflects your professional life. Not just what you achieved, but how you treated others, how you led, and the example you set.

Someone whose life you helped represents the impact you had on the wider world — the difference you made beyond your immediate circle.

Together, these four perspectives paint a picture of your life as a whole.

Not just what you did.

But who you were.

What Most People Realise

When people take part in this exercise, something interesting usually happens.

Very few people say they want to be remembered for:

• Their job title

• Their bank balance

• The size of their house

Instead, most people want to be remembered for things like:

• Being a great parent, partner or friend

• Helping others

• Making a difference

• Living with integrity

• Being someone people could rely on

In other words, they want to be remembered for the impact they had on people, not the possessions they accumulated.

The Question That Matters Most

Once people have written their answers, I always ask them one simple question:

Are you currently living in a way that would make those things true?

Because the gap between the life we want to be remembered for and the life we are actually living today can sometimes be quite large.

Life gets busy. Work becomes demanding. Responsibilities take over. And without realising it, we can drift away from the things that matter most.

Your Legacy Is Built Daily

The key message from this exercise is simple.

Your legacy isn’t something that appears at the end of your life.

It’s built every day.

It’s built through the way you treat people, the choices you make, the standards you hold yourself to and the example you set for others.

Every day you are writing the story that people will one day remember.

A Question Worth Asking Yourself

So take a moment to reflect.

If those four people stood up to speak about your life…

What would you want them to say about you?

And perhaps more importantly:

What choices can you start making today that move you closer to becoming that person?

Because the life you want to be remembered for doesn’t happen by accident.

It happens by design.